Reflection and Knowing Your “Why”

Reflection and Knowing Your “Why”


“Life is a reflection of what we allow ourselves to see.”

There are times in one’s life where there is a need to spend some concentrated time just reflecting … on the memories of the past, the realities of the present and the opportunities of the future. These moments allow us to clear the noise and give our brain a much-needed rest. I find that these moments are especially critical in times of struggle and stress. As CEO of a large company, while time is a commodity, moments of reflection are a necessity.

We owe our staff the best of ourselves, the sharpest thinking and the best decisions; this comes from a rested, reflective mind. But, honestly, reflection is not always easy. This may be why many leaders tend to shy away from it. Reflection requires us to slow down, exercise our curiosity and accept responsibility.

An article in the Harvard Business Review that I especially liked discussed the difficulty in reflection. “At its simplest, reflection is about careful thought. But the kind of reflection that is really valuable to leaders is more nuanced than that. The most useful reflection involves the conscious consideration and analysis of beliefs and actions for the purpose of learning. Reflection gives the brain an opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and create meaning. This meaning becomes learning, which can then inform future mindsets and actions. For leaders, this “meaning making’ is crucial to their ongoing growth and development.”

The ability to pause amidst the chaos and untangle information is a critical skill of great leaders. Clay Scroggins’ Book “How to Lead in a World of Distraction” suggested a tip that as a leader I have found invaluable: Know your why: Why you do what you do, why you say what you say. Your why becomes the filter through which you can decide what you really want to focus on, the messages you really want to convey.

During this time in our country, there is much to reflect on, much to interpret, and much to learn. It is my hope that you, as leaders, hit the pause button and take the needed time to reflect and become better acquainted with your “why.”

Our Children Are Watching

Our Children Are Watching

As this painful week comes to an end, I am left thinking about the children. How are they internalizing what they see on TV? How do we answer their questions?

This week of pain comes at a time already fraught with tension, compounding the destructive force of COVID-19 and the resulting financial crisis that is hitting our most vulnerable and marginalized communities the hardest.

Our collective children are growing up and learning about their world, now with disturbing events unfolding in every direction. I wonder how we explain these times to our children. What will they take away from this point in time? I listened to George Floyd’s second grade teacher remember him as a pleasure to have in class, a quiet boy who liked to sing and wanted to be a Supreme Court justice. I think of all the children at that age, lives innately full of hope, positivity and wonder.

I have also listened to our staff describe painful and anguished conversations they are forced to have with their children. Some of you are having “the talk”, not about the birds and the bees, but rather preparing your children for racism. I am listening to parents soberly explain how the reality of racism affects their own hopes and dreams for their children and what will be required of them as they grow up.

I can’t imagine looking into the eyes of any child, preparing them for hatred. Yet a large portion of our society must explain to their children the limitations they will face.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all be proud of the world into which we have brought our children? It should be a place where they could all feel safe to pursue limitless possibilities, one where there is no need for “talk” to warn that their road will be different, harder and even dangerous.

We must stand in solidarity with those demanding an end to systemic racism and violence. We must do better. We owe our children a better world.

We cannot allow this heartbreaking reality to continue.

Our children are watching.

Workers with Disabilities Essential in the Pandemic

At a time when gratitude is owed to so many for keeping our communities safe and healthy, we need to count among that group individuals with disabilities who are serving as essential workers of Governor Cuomo’s New York on PAUSE emergency plan.

Reflections on Memorial Day

Reflections on Memorial Day

Good Morning. On this Memorial Day I want to share my blog with Retired US Army Colonel David W. Sutherland.

This weekend marks Memorial Day, a sacred day of recognition in the United States.

I, like the rest of the team at Dixon Center for Military and Veterans Services, will spend the weekend remembering, honoring, and mourning the United States military members who died while serving in the Armed Forces – some of whom I served with over the course of my 29-year career.

One of these people was the husband of Latrese Dixon. In her book, From Tragedy to Triumph: The Life of a Widow, Latrese reflects on her life leading up to, and journey following, her husband’s death in 2007 during combat operations in Iraq. While her book is a stirring read for Memorial Day, there are many passages that offer lessons and insights relevant throughout the year.

Today I want to share a few pieces of quiet wisdom from this book with you – and what passes through my mind as I read them.

“He was a soldier and he answered the call of duty.”
The members of our Armed Forces put their lives on the line for their country, knowing that it is a dangerous business that could separate them permanently from their families. Yet a service member follows through and perseveres, even amidst difficult times and challenges. It’s called “character,” and it’s explained best not by definition, but by actions such as selflessly putting country before life.

“He died doing what he loved most – protecting his country, protecting his family. Both were inextricably linked.”
For me, the key words here are “inextricably linked.” Those who serve do so both for, and on behalf of, their families, neighbors, and communities. Equally important are the “comrades” to their left and right in times of crisis. Serving our country is a global duty, but it starts with families. You will find courage, love, duty, and sacrifice a commonality among everyone who has served.

“Losing a loved one is hard: healing is harder, but know that their memories continue to live on.”
The worst thing we can do is to forget. We can all use the opportunity created by Memorial Day to remember all those who died while serving, be it in combat, during training exercises, or through accidents and non-combat related deaths. One of the most important deaths for me to remember is death by suicide while on active duty. Ultimately, though, this painful reflection is necessary as it truly is the purpose of Memorial Day.

“The most difficult and hardest thing to do was figure out how to tell the children that their father would not be coming home.”
The narratives of those who have fallen live on through their families. These families are given the honorific “Gold Star” to designate that they’ve had a loved one lose his/her life in service to the nation. If you know a Gold Star family, reach out to check on them this weekend and provide encouragement. If you meet a Gold Star family member in the future, ask them to share their story, then take the time to listen.

Colonel Sutherland, Latrese Dixon, and some of her children during a wreath ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery honoring SSG Donnie Dixon.

Although the COVID-19 pandemic has altered our ability to honor the fallen with parades or memorial services, it does provide an opportunity for us to create our own personal remembrances. Consider the following activities:

•  Plant a remembrance tree or flowers with your family.
•  Research the achievements of one of our fallen from previous wars and ongoing operations in Iraq and Afghanistan.
•  Livestream virtual events from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund and at Arlington National Cemetery.

This Memorial Day weekend, I hope that you take a moment to personally reflect on the achievements and courage of our U.S. service members who died while serving in the Armed Forces.

We at Dixon Center will always remember, and they will never be forgotten.